At least I got you in my head
by arcadia-gay
Summary: The gang is stuck on a case and Abby calls in an old friend, one that also happens to be Holtzmann's ex-girlfriend. The group all warm up to her and enjoy having her working with them, but Erin starts to feel jealous (and guilty for it) and it takes her a while to realize what and why she's feeling this way. Angst and gay ensues. Eventual Holtzbert. rating may change.


Hey guys! This is my first time writing for Ghostbusters so please don't be too harsh! I've had this idea in my head for a few months now but I was on the edge about putting it onto paper. Please let me know if you want to see more, and if so, what? I have an idea of where this story is going, it's going to get pretty good, but I warn, it will definitely be angsty, so I hope you're into that. Enjoy!

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It had been a normal day for the gang, or as "normal" as it could get when you're a team of Ghostbusters. It was coming up to 5pm and so far they'd been on two busts, worked on some of the paperwork and Holtzmann had been working on a case involving a guy who had been seen at several locations where paranormal had been spotted. However, she was stuck on the case so had decided to let her stress out by creating several "small poofs" in her lab doing God knows what. The group had decided to take a break and were all in the kitchen, or what they liked to class as the closest thing they had to a kitchen, discussing what they were going to do for food.

"Look Abby, we all get that you have a thing going on with those wontons but we can't have Chinese food everyday." Patty chimed in when Abby had given her suggestion.

"I have got to admit, and you know I love you Abby, but if I have to eat one more wonton I'm going to actually become a wonton." Erin agreed as Holtzmann and Patty chuckled whilst Abby gave a look of defeat.

"We should spice things up and go for Indian, that new place opened up down the street and rumour has it that they have the best Korma in town." Holtz pitched, adding a wiggle of her eyebrows to the end of her sentence.

"Sounds good to me, though I like mine with a little more spice. it'll give that Benny kid a break too." Patty chuckled as they all agreed. Just as Holtz was going to suggest picking up the food for the group, the door bell, which was more of a loud alarm noise than a bell, went off.

"I'll get it!" Abby yelled eagerly and sped off to the door with a smirk on her face, Erin eager to find out what that was about.

"I didn't know we were expecting company, I would've put on my smart pair of dungarees if I knew" Holtz joked.

"Smart pair? Since when do you do smart?" Erin shot back.

"Hey, I can assure that pair has at least one less grease stain than the rest, gotta keep up an appearance, and keep you on your toes." Holtz winked causing Erin's cheeks to feel somewhat warm, but continued to roll her eyes playfully, she had gotten better with controlling the blushing that came with Holtzmann's quips, but had yet to come close to stopping them. Erin and Holtzmann kept up light conversation and laughed as Patty joined in and made her own opinion on Holtz' wacky style known. When Abby returned to the group Erin saw that she was with a girl she didn't recognise, but guessed Abby must've known her well as they laughed together and caught up about something. The woman was fairly tall, not as tall as Patty but certainly taller than the rest of the group. She was sporting black jeans paired with a simple white t-shirt and a leather jacket, her hair curly and brown, falling just below her shoulders and an eye colour to match her hair. Erin thought the woman in question was pretty, certainly above average, she considered that she'd probably remember someone who looked like that if she had met her before. When the woman caught sight of Holtz from behind, the conversation between her and Abby holted.

"Still the same crazy scientist as I remember. Hey Holtz, been a while." she smiled as Erin visibly saw Holtzmann stiffen and her eyes widen, clearly caught off guard. For a second, it looked as if Holtzmann was going to run away, but that idea was blown out of the window when Holtzmann instead jumped up and ran over to the woman, quickly embracing her.

"Holy shit, Nicks?! What are you doing here?" Erin could see that Holtzmann was clearly excited, if not ecstatic, about the woman's appearance, but still had no idea what was going on.

"Abby called and said you were having issues identifying some guy linked with recent ghost sightings and I happen to know a thing or two about investigation. I was coming to New York for some work anyway so I couldn't resist coming to see what you two were up to these days, it's so cool seeing what you're doing on TV. Congrats on like, saving the whole world by the way, you should put that on your job applications." she joked as their hug subsided. "Oh shit, sorry, I'm Nikki by the way, but I go by Nicks." She smiled and quickly walked over to shake both Erin and Patty's hands. "I went to college with those lunatics." She joked again, pointing to Abby and Holtzmann. "Erin, right? And you must be Patty, love the earrings! I'm stoked to meet you guys. Big fan of your work." Erin noted that she had a similar kind of panache as Holtz, but less hyper and softer spoken.

"Thank you, it's great meeting you too!" Erin offered a smile back, somewhat taken aback by the pretty woman's confidence and kindness.

"We didn't know you were coming but I'm liking you already." Patty joked, clearly proud of her fashion once again.

"Yeah I'm sorry about that, kinda last minute, plus Abby wanted to keep it a secret from Holtz. You guys cool if I stick around for a while to help out? I can be pretty useful and I make a mean carbonara." She chuckled, but a slight nervousness became apparent to Erin.

"I can back that theory up. "Mean" would be an understatement, I can't eat carbonara made by anyone else without having flashbacks to when my tastebuds were in heaven." Holtz added as she walked over to the table where the rest of the group had slowly congregated around.

"Of course! We could use the help and it's always great to have some company. That's if you don't mind the constant danger of Holtz possibly killing us all." Erin said, trying to reassure Nikki that she was welcome as she chuckled, Patty nodding in agreement.

"Yeah, Jillian certainly has a way with making a girl feel like she'll die at any moment from literally anything in a room." Nicks joked back, sharing a look between her and Holtz. Erin took note of the use of her first name, the only person who used that was Abby, and that was only when she was going to tell Holtzmann off about something.

"My wonderful reputation still stands." Holtz stated matter-of-factly as Abby rolled her eyes, even though she was laughing just as much as anyone else.

"I'm so excited to have you around for a while, the three of us have a lot of catching up to do, and I'm certain you're going to fit right in with the whole gang." Abby assured as she gave Nicks a pat on the shoulder.

"I'm glad! Isn't there another one? I swear you mentioned some receptionist dude." Nicks noted.

"Oh, that big, beautiful dumbie," Patty chuckled. "He kinda just shows up whenever he wants, he's probably out doing his hide and seek thing somewhere." The others nodded in agreement. "He's kind of an idiot, but we love him. Plus, he's certainly a good piece of eye candy, right Erin?" Patty joked, nudging Erin with her elbow and causing the redhead to feel embarrassed. Her crush on the Australian had subsided within the past few weeks, though the teasing from the others hadn't.

"I'll bare that in mind." Nicks laughed, Erin again saw the woman share a look with Holtz, as if they were in on a secret joke.

"Holtz, give Nicks a tour of the firehouse, we'll sort out food. Indian sound good to you Nicks?" Abby set out.

"Sounds more than perfect." Nicks responded as Holtz held out her arm for Nicks to hold onto, much like a you would if you were about to escort a date to prom.

"M'lady, if you'll follow me." Holtz over exaggerated in a British accent.

"Lead the way!" Nikki offered as she played into whatever scene Holtzmann was trying to create as the pair exited the kitchen laughing. Erin felt somewhat envious of the pair being able to be so comfortable so soon.

"Well. Aren't they just a pair of crazies?" Patty chuckled at the two women as they exited.

"You could say that." Abby offered, smiling to herself for unknown reasons.

"How come you never mentioned her?" Erin tried not to sound upset, but she couldn't help but feel a tinge of hurt and more so disappointment in herself for not learning more about what Abby had got up to in their years apart. "Just because you seem pretty close with her." Erin added, trying not to come off as rude.

"It just never came up I guess." Abby simply responded, but quickly continued when she saw that Erin was eager to learn more about Abby's years in college. She was aware that Erin still felt some guilt about their separation and wanted Erin to know she forgave her. "She was my roommate, we spent a lot of time hanging out because of it and became good friends, so of course I ended up introducing her to Holtz once we became friends and they hit it off. They kind of became inseparable." Abby smiled thinking back to the memories.

"They seem close." Erin took a moment to think. "Did they bond over science or just being generally crazy?" Erin tried not to pry too much, but she couldn't help but think the friendship between Holtz and Nicks was different to the one between her and Abby. Abby scoffed and chuckled.

"Well, apart from their love for 80s music and a particular Gillian Anderson, their overwhelming levels of gay combined made them a good match."

"No surprise there, Holtzy wouldn't look anymore straight even if she had the damn word tattooed on her face." The four women laughed at Patty's comment.

"I think it was just nice for Holtz to be able to be open about her sexuality, especially with the crap time she had with it in High School." Erin noted Abby's comment about Holtzmann's high school experience. Being not aware of it, she made a mental note to ask Holtz about it at some point, she didn't want to make Abby uncomfortable and pry.

"I imagine they made quite the pair as each others wingmen." Erin joked. This caused both Abby and Patty to laugh, though it didn't seem like one where they agreed. "What?" Erin asked, worried she'd said something offensive.

"Oh Erin, baby, they were girlfriends." Patty offered with amusement and a hint of pity for the girls innocence.

"Wait, they dated?!" Erin didn't mean to sound so shocked when the words came tumbling out as the clockwork in her head turned.

"You missed that? I thought I made that apparent." Abby shrugged.

So they were girlfriends. Holtzmann dated Nikki. Erin thought to herself, thinking back to the looks she had caught between the girls. The ones she had thought of as "inside jokes". It made sense now. "You seem surprised?"

"Wait, Patty, how did you know?" Erin ignored Abby's question for a second, still caught up with the new information. Erin wasn't actually sure why she was so surprised, she was aware that Holtzmann was gay, you'd have to be pretty silly to miss that one. She just hasn't actually considered that Holtzmann had dated women. Not that women weren't attracted to her, quite the opposite actually, women sent Holtzmann fan mail expressing their desire for her all the time. Holtzmann didn't have any issue attracting women, it was actually hard to think of a time where they went out for a drink and a barmaid hadn't flirted or slipped her their numbers. It's just that Holtzmann, even with all her swagger and confidence, didn't pick up on the hints, or at least didn't act on it. Holtzmann tended to mistake it as kindness or just completely missed the obvious swooning of women as the rest of the gang observed and tried to hide their chuckling. Holtzmann hadn't mentioned any ex girlfriends either. She'd made a joke or two about encounters with women, but nothing with substance or certified truth, not that Erin really disbelieved it even if it was meant as a joke, again, women were continuously attracted to her and Erin couldn't really blame them. Holtzmann was a very interesting person, and she was certainly good looking, the crazy outfits she put together just making her seem more interesting and appealing. Or that's what other women might think, Erin told herself.

"Erin I love you girl, but you can be damn oblivious for a scientist." Patty brought the red head out of her train of thoughts. "Sometimes you can just tell when people have history. Plus, how often do you see Holtzmann get caught off guard by another woman. It's normally the other way around." Abby nodded in agreement with Patty's words.

"Yeah, I mean I did notice the little looks between the two I guess." Erin agreed. "I guess I was just surprised because Holtzmann hasn't really ever mentioned any ex-girlfriends" Erin finally answered to Abby's question.

"Yeah, you know Holtz, she doesn't really feel the need to talk about herself, you have to pry information out of her." That was true. It wasn't as if Holtzmann was embarrassed or anything, she just preferred listening to others over talking about her own life. Holtzmann was more of a listener than a talker when it came to things other than science, you could say that was her safety net. She knew science, but was less confident with emotions. When she did though, it was a nice change to see Holtzmann open up a little bit, it brought out another side of the usually quirky engineer. "Nicks was Holtzmann's first real girlfriend, the two were really serious, they dated for around 2 years." Abby said in a nearly nonchalant way.

"Damn, I can't imagine our Holtzy head over heels for someone else, I thought her first and only love was blowing shit up." Patty said, chuckling at that last part.

"It helps that Nikki spent a lot of time blowing stuff up with Holtz." Abby smiled. "Guess you could say she was the nuts to her Holtz." Abby and Patty both laughed at Abby's comment. Erin was preoccupied with learning so much about her engineer friend. She couldn't help but think about a younger Holtzmann stumbling over words, blushing and crushing on Nikki. She couldn't quite place it, but the idea of Holtz being so intimate with someone seemed intriguing to her, and a little part of her also felt jealous of the fact that Holtzmann had so much admiration for Nikki at one point in her life. Not that it was her place to feel jealous at all, but she couldn't help it, nor did she understand why the irrational feeling was occurring. Erin wanted to ask more, maybe why the pair that seemed to be described oh-so-perfect broke up, but she knew it wasn't Abby's place to tell her. The conversation between the women shifted after that, not that Erin was really invested, she was lost in and out of thought for most of the evening.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the building in Holtz' lab, Nikki and Holtzmann were coming towards the end of the tour and had been catching up.

"Dude, when I saw you and Abby on the news I was so proud, I was actually yelling. I knew you guys would go on to do amazing things." Nikki said, the two laughing after discussing the battle of Times Square and how the group had stopped Rowan.

"Well, it's certainly one of my best achievements, right above winning that hot dog competition." Holtzmann joked. "Yeah, I'm proud of the group too. We couldn't have done it if we weren't altogether, as a team. I'm really glad to have them, we're like a family. A weird, crazy, silly family." Holtzmann smiled.

"I'm glad, you deserve the best." Nikki smiled back.

"So, this is my lab, the place I almost accidentally destroy the earth atleast 20 times, 7 days a week." Holtzmann gestured towards her messy table.

"Looks like there's been a tornado in here, so yeah, must be your room." They both laughed.

"You got that right! Except for that spot over there," Holtzmann pointed over to a small area with an organised table and a large whiteboard. "That's Erin's spot. I let her take that space because I fish for her help to complete equations, plus she's good company, I couldn't say no."

"The redhead, right? She's cute, got that whole 'hot nerd' thing going on." Nikki joked.

"She's certainly something." Holtzmann smiled, thinking fondly of her fellow scientist. "But no luck for you, I don't think she's into girls. Plus, she seems keen on our receptionist. Or did before, atleast." Holtzmann listed, sarcastically saying that last part about Kevin, a hint of jealousy in her voice that Nikki didn't miss, and made note of. Nikki wondered whether Holtz was telling her that, or herself.

"I'm just kidding, but that's bummer. I mean, you never know, right? We've both met our fair share of straight girls who weren't actually straight." Nikki stated.

"It's fine, It's not like that, we're just good friends, and good colleagues." Again, Nikki wondered who Holtzmann was telling.

"If you say so." Nikki said sarcastically, smirking slightly.

"Anyway, that's the end of this luxurious tour, given by your very own, Jillian Holtzmann." Holtzmann joked around again, deciding to ignore the sarcasm in Nicks comment. "We shall now return to the dining area and reunite with the rest of the party." She continued in her sarcastic, over the top posh accent. "Come along, m'lady." She added, again linking their arms as they headed back to the rest of the gang.

By now, Abby had ordered food for everyone and the delivery showed up not long after the pair joined the group again. They all ate together and talked and laughed, Erin even got to know Nikki a bit better. She was a forensic examiner, hence why she had been called to help out. Erin could quickly see why Holtz liked the woman in the past, not only was she beautiful, but she was funny and smart and certainly had charisma. She seemed like the kind of friend everyone would want. Similar to Holtz herself, Erin thought. After finishing their food they discussed working on the case tomorrow with the help of Nikki before calling it a day. When Erin went home that evening she couldn't sleep easily, distracted by her thoughts and all the questions she had and wanted to ask Holtz. Erin really was curious why the two broke up. She was curious about their relationship. She was curious about other women that had once been in Holtzmann's life. She was curious about Holtzmann. Erin didn't know why she was so hung up on this, she decided to presume that it was just interesting to learn about one of her closest friends, and it was, but there was something else. She decided not to dwell on the small tinge of jealousy she had earlier felt. She looked forward to learning more about Holtzmann and Nikki in the coming days.

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Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it! Please feel free to leave a review, your comments really do help me to know where to go and what to change.

I know a lot of people write Holtzmann as a sex God who's been wit of women, and I'm FULLY here for that don't get me wrong, but I feel personally that yes, she is a sex God, but she's not really aware of that. Especially considering the scene at the end of the film where she gave her speech, she's our little awkward unknowing sex God lol. Let me know how you feel about me writing her this way.


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